We all know that there are certain things in life that are not meant to be, but how can one determine what was meant to be from what was not meant to be?

Most relationships usually start on a good note, you may think you are in love but you may not know enough about the person you are dating to make this decision. As time goes by you will learn many new things about your partner, both good and bad things. Many people will focus on the good things about their partner because it's the good things that have attracted them to the person. However, the bad things should not be overlooked.

As you start learning new things about your partner you should make a list of 10 things you like and 10 things you dislike about your partner. When you have compiled this list you must determine whether the good things outweigh the bad things.

You should focus on the 10 things that you dislike about your partner and if you are willing to accept these flaws, you can then say you are truly in love with this person. If you cannot accept these imperfections, then perhaps you should reconsider your relationship.

Once you have created a strong bond with your partner, things will work out fine in the relationship but what will you do if things change in the future? How will you know when it's time to end the relationship and move on?

Although all relationships will have their fair share of problems, there are certain signs and behaviour that cannot be tolerated, condoned or ignored if the relationship is to thrive. There are tell-tale signs to look out for.

Most of the time, when we are in a relationship, we tend to follow a pattern in our lives. This makes it easy to ignore the red flags that are actually the signs of a bad relationship. Also the investment of time and emotions attached to a relationship can make it difficult for you to decide when to break up. However, there are circumstances that will lead to an eventual breakup.

One of the most common reasons for a breakup is one of incompatibility. The passion and the heady feelings of being in love at first can temporarily blind you to the basic incompatibilities between you and your partner. Thus, when the euphoria starts wearing off, gradually you become more and more aware of the 'faults' or rather the differences in opinion of your partner. So, when you do not have the same goals and dreams for the future as your partner and do not foresee things like children, handling finances and the family, it’s time that you move on.

One of the most important parts of a relationship is spending time and talking to each other. A lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and take a spark away from even the most loving relationships. This lack of communication can cause people to drift apart. Also, if you find that your partner is unresponsive to all your efforts to bridge the communication gap, then maybe he is just not committed enough towards the relationship. So, when you no longer look forward to speaking with your partner or seeing him on a regular basis, perhaps it’s time to reassess the relationship.

If you are often fighting and having arguments and when the triggering factor of your fights is a betrayal, a lie or a difference in core values then it might indicate that the relationship is on the rocks. However, before you jump to conclusions, it’s also important to keep in mind that disagreements and other relationship issues are a part of life and minor issues created over things like forgetting to return calls can always be worked upon. So, talk it over with your partner and try to find some common ground.

These are warning signs that should alert you that things have changed in the relationship, and all too often we will ignore these signs because we are still in love. When you start experiencing any of these problems you should speak to your partner about it. And if you and your partner are unable or unwilling to resolve these issues, you should consider ending the relationship on a good note. As if you were to stay in an unhappy relationship for too long, it will only make you miserable which will ultimately lead to more anger and resentment.

Why do people then persist in a dissatisfying relationship, unwilling either to work toward solutions or end it and move on? Well, it may simply be because they know changing will lead to the unknown, and most people feel that the unknown will be much more painful than what they're already experiencing.

However, it is vital that before you decide on when to break up, try finding out whether the relationship is worth saving. If you think that despite all the hurdles, you can make a commitment to make it work, then try everything to save the relationship. But if you think that your best efforts have been failing, then it might be time to move on with your life as it will be pointless and outright silly to hold on to someone who isn't appreciative and totally committed. 

You are in love and it feels wonderful. This love is different and you are prepared to do anything to make it last. To prevent this ship from sinking you work hard to steer this relationship into a safe harbour. In the process you lose yourself and jeopardise your romantic relationship.

Too many people sabotage their dating life and their romantic relationships because their thoughts and actions in a relationship are paralysed by fear of loss. They treat their relationship like some kind of precious, gentle stone that must be preserved and protected at any cost.

If you are one of those people who is really afraid that your partner will cheat on you, stop loving you, break up with you or otherwise slip away, you should be aware of one very important truth:

See, there is no point in worrying about things that are NOT in your control. It so happens that there is no insurance policy against breaking up and losing your loved one. People break up and divorce even after ten or more years of being together, so it’s important to realise and accept that that risk is always there.

Fear of loss is very similar to jealousy in that it suffocates the other person. It places him or her under the tremendous pressure of being the most important person in your life and being the “gauge” of your happiness. Ironically, then, the more afraid you are to lose your lover, the more your actions will push him or her away from you.

It is important, therefore, to liberate yourself of this fear if you want to enjoy a good relationship and be a good partner. One way to abandon this fear once and for all is to realise and remember that your partner’s actions in the future are OUT of your hands. They don’t depend on you and therefore you should not feel responsible for them. Accept the fact that it’s possible that he or she will leave one day and that it’s just one, by far not the biggest risk in life.

Next, make sure that you do your part by doing what depends on you – being the best partner you can be. And realise that even if you lose that very special person in your life, it’s NOT going to be the end of the world. You will survive and move forward. There is life AFTER your partner's departure whether you believe it or not.

After a while you will learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, you will learn that love doesn’t mean leaning and company doesn’t mean security. And you will begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.

So, stop being afraid to lose your partner, make the most out of the relationship you have right now and leave the rest to other powers that have nothing to do with you, such as your partner’s character, emotions and commitment to you.